Monday, 28 December 2009

Yes or No?



I've read in a few places recently about the reputed benefits of saying "yes". Lots of good stuff to do with getting over your fears, gaining confidence, and having adventures.

I love adventures.

IMGP6059

The headlines say we should all say "YES!" more often.

But personally, I've found over the years that I've had to learn to say "no", else I end up over-committing and struggling to meet my commitments (which isn't fun for anyone). Maybe that's because I have a natural tendency to say "yes" to exciting opportunities - and by sometimes saying "no" to other people's requests, I have more time left to do the things that matter to me.

Perhaps the key, as with so many things, is just to be balanced. To consider every decision and say "yes" or "no" for the right reasons.

But of course, that doesn't make for such attention grabbing headlines......

28 comments:

Jim Murdoch said...

I had a friend once who, whenever she wanted to say, “No,” she would say instead, “I’ll have to ask Tommy,” Tommy being her husband. So she’d toddle of to ask Tommy who would invariably “say” whatever she wanted him to say. It proved a very effective way of refusing and saving face at the same time.

Soultravelers3 said...

One of the wisest teachers I ever had, told me long, long ago that I must learn to say yes to myself. It was great advice for allowing my freedom out in a bigger way.

Ah, now that "no" thing, I can relate! That is a whole other can of worms & I am STILL trying to master that one.

Happy Holidays sweet thang!

HalfCrazy said...

Have you watched Yes Man? If not, then I think you should. It stars Jim Carrey. It's about saying Yes to everything to get over the stuff you mentioned and try new things!

I love adventures too! I welcome anything new. Okay, probably not anything but you get the idea, haha!

I say Yes most of the time to people and opportunities and everything else. If I feel it's not right, of course I say No.

Much Love,

Diane said...

I'm like you... had to learn to say no. Now that I have a 10 year old, I look for reasons to say yes, as I seem to say no a lot!

Kimberly said...

I think it is a matter of knowing when it the right time to utilze one or the other. It is an internal thing for sure. Either of the answers could be both good or bad at different times. There is a time for everything the hard thing is figuring out "WHEN" it is the right time.

Debbie said...

As I get older, I seem to have an easier time deciding when to say yes and when to say no. I definitely think it is one of the benefits of aging.

Kimberly said...

I have an award for you. Come by my blog to get it.

♥ Katinka said...

Stopping by from SITS and wishing you a HAPPY TUESDAY! I hope you had a good christmas and I wish you all the best for the new Year :)

The Blonde Duck said...

Popped in from SITS to say hi! I love adeventures!

Lacie @ Creative Attempts said...

I am a total people pleaser and committ to way to much but in that same thought I don't say yes enough to those silly fun "adventurous" things!! life is such a balacing act huh

Chef E said...

You are growing so wise my dear! I had a hard lesson in saying no, but finally it comes with ease and grace...love the pic...I might have to write a poem for this pic...if you would not mind?

liliannattel said...

Yes.

I think you hit the nail on the head.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

Stopping by from SITS! I am trying to teach my twenty month to say "yes".

Daphne said...

It's a tough one. I, for one, think that saying "Yes" to everything is not a very good idea. I like to say "maybe" and then think about it. People would so much rather have a heartfelt and committed "yes" than an automatic "yes" which maybe you can't follow through on later...

Jeanne said...

How about saying yes to fun stuff and no to dull stuff? (Not a very good idea either, since cleaning the toilet and going to the gym and eating your veggies could all be considered dull, but they need to be done.)

Judy said...

Hmmm, now that's deep, and one I am still trying to figure out. I admit, though, that now I am in my 50's, I feel more inclined to say "Yes!". You know the saying, "Life's short. Eat dessert first!" That's me right now.

Michael Rivers said...

A good balance of yes/no is very important. Just listen to the voices in your head. LOL.

KK said...

I agree, I need more balance. I need to say "no" more at work and "yes" more in my social life.

Beholden-To-Nature (Kenna) said...

Thank you so much for your enthusiastic comment on my blog (some time ago-- I'm still working on that "saying no" thing). :) And yes, balance is forever a carrot I chase after. ;) Here's to all the best in 2010-- yes's to the best things, and no's to the rest. And best wishes to you as well!

Christy said...

i say no so much more than i used to. Turning 40 liberated me...i now feel confident when i say no thank you.

love the photo you chose for this blog...it is romantic and adventurous! It's truly beautiful.

Dave King said...

Saying yes too often could sure land you in the headlines right enough. Judicious use of, I think is called for. Have a good new year.

The Blonde Duck said...

Hello duckies is up today!

Vesper said...

Saw you at SITS. Amazing photos!

BLOGitse said...

Balance is the key!
Great photo you have here...
I came to say cheers,
Happy New Year! :)

Charlene said...

Yep - as with most things in life, the key is balance. But I'd say you've got it figured out! :-) Happy SITS Year!

Charlene
(ironically, from "The Balance Beam")

Vodka Mom said...

Yes, yes, YES!

Happy New Year, my friend.


xoxox

Confessions From A Working Mom said...

This is really insightful-- because I've read articles (in the same ISSUE of a single magazine!) that urged me to say "yes" more often (to new opportunities, friendships, etc) and then a few pages later, to say "no" more (to too many commitments, responsibilities, chores). What's the right answer? Always, following your heart.

~Elizabeth
http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.com

anymommy said...

Knowing when to say which (yes or no) is definitely the hard part. For instance, I should tell myself NO! more on staying up past ten. I do over commit. I should think before I 'yes.'

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